We teach others what we need to learn. We pour ourselves into our jobs with passion, but they can also become the greatest sources of stress and anxiety in our lives. When we take a step back, we often see patterns emerging from these sources of stress which can be addressed real-time if we are mindful.
The first is the constant drive to climb the career ladder at any cost. The belief that happiness lies just beyond the next title or pay grade holds many of us captive. But the truth is, the satisfaction of reaching a goal is temporary. Once we achieve it, we’re already looking to the next step. We move from one milestone to the next, never truly resting in the joy of what we’ve accomplished. There’s always something more to chase, and with it comes a perpetual sense of unease. On top of this, we become consumed by the fear of failure, of making mistakes, of falling short. But mistakes are not our enemies. They are steppingstones—teachers in disguise. It’s only through mistakes and failures that we grow. So, why must we constantly operate from a place of fear and anxiety?
The truth is, we can’t stay on that hamster wheel of wanting and doing more, fearing failure forever. Our bodies and minds aren’t designed for that kind of exhaustion. When the body and/or mind fall apart due to continuous stress, they are functioning exactly as they are meant to. Have you ever thought that once you reach the pinnacle of your career, after working so hard, you may not like the view? Then what?
Staying on the hamster wheel of wanting more without ever being satisfied is what Buddha referred to as “suffering.” The cause of suffering is desire. We become so attached to impermanent things—the titles, the money, the achievements—that we lose sight of what truly matters. This doesn’t mean we should stop striving to be our best selves. But we must learn to find fulfillment in the journey, not just the destination. We must learn to be content with where we are and with what we’ve already accomplished.
Have a clear understanding of your priorities. A practice that helps me stay grounded in this truth is keeping a written list of what matters to me: physical health, mental well-being, spiritual growth, career, family, and friendships (not in order of priority). I rate these areas on a scale of 1 to 10 as my baseline. In a harmonious world, each category would have equal weight. There are times when one category needs more attention than the others. Once that “emergency” is over, I return to the baseline and may even work on compensating for what was neglected. For example, if I couldn’t meet my exercise targets due to work crunch, I may double up on exercise once the work pressure has eased. This helps keep me content.
Another significant source of stress in the workplace is conflict. We often feel anxiety at the thought of upcoming difficult conversations or confrontations. The mere anticipation of conflict can manifest physically—muscle tension, headaches, discomfort, loss of sleep. But here’s the thing: much of the conflict we dread often exists only in our minds, as our fears hijack us. We may have grown up in environments where conflict wasn’t openly discussed, so we don’t always know how to navigate it. However, when handled with respect, conflict can be an opportunity for growth and understanding.
When a challenging situation arises for me, instead of letting it consume me, I try to engage with the feelings using the acronym RAIN (I learned this from Ms. Tara Brach, a Buddhist teacher): Recognize what you’re feeling, Allow these feelings to exist without judgment, Investigate why you feel this way, and Nurture yourself by asking if it would matter in the long run. During the nurture part, another question I ask is whether what I am so upset about right now will matter on my deathbed. The answer is generally “no”. Just this inquiry helps me feel better.
And if I notice unease in someone else’s body (such as a reddened or contorted face, aggressive posture, etc.) during the conversation, I ask with compassion, “What’s troubling you? How can I help? How can we resolve this together?” Any of these questions, when asked respectfully, generally disarm the other party and prompt them to reflect on their own thoughts and behaviors. By approaching conflicts with respect and a win-win mindset, we create solutions that serve everyone and ultimately move the business forward.
Another technique that is useful when someone makes a difficult demand is simply to say, “Thank you, but I will pass on this one,” instead of constantly mulling over it.
And sometimes, it’s okay to let a conflict drop. Although we often seek resolution for every conflicting situation because we believe it will bring us closure, we may not always like the results of that resolution. So, don’t cling too hard to resolve every conflict.
One additional thought about conflicts at the workplace: we have no idea what the other party is going through, both at work and outside, which may have prompted a certain response from them. Furthermore, we may have misperceived their inquiry or response. Our perceptions of the situation at hand are not always accurate. Keeping an open mind may serve us better.
If all else fails, there is a saying to live by: “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be peaceful?” And I often use this outside work too.
The workplace is where we spend a significant portion of our waking hours. It offers a powerful opportunity for mindfulness. Rather than letting work become a source of constant stress, we can choose to recognize that we are enough, right where we are. Life is too short to constantly strive for more. It’s too short to live in the future, always chasing something ahead of us. Instead, let’s enjoy the journey and work together in a spirit of mutual respect and collaboration.
We are enough. And when we can truly internalize that, everything else falls into place.
#mindfulness #workplace #stressatworkplace #career #careerladder #collaboration #conflictresolution #respect
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